Just sayn

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February 11, 2014 · 18:03

A valentine to a crush – from an honest wallflower

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Dear Crush,
I need to apologize. As you know, the last few times we’ve spoken, it has been a bit awkward. Frankly, I’ve exhibited as much charm and grace as an earthworm in a glass of milk.

The reason I find myself mentally impaired around you is due to your glittering smile and my esteem for you. I think you are cool & fun, and I would like to hang out with you some time.

But considering how nervous I am around you, I can’t promise I won’t get tongue tied and exclaim my favorite color is potato or something.

You seem really nice… and what I’m trying to say is… my Dad dropped me on my head as a child.

You’re welcome and happy cupid day.

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Filed under Coaster Quips: short, witty

PSA – the more you DATE

My personal therapy ritual is to take private thoughts of bewilderment – horror and mental TMI trauma and allow myself to laugh … Annnnd make a few spoofy Facebook memes.

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Filed under Coaster Quips: short, witty

Coaster quips : love

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February 3, 2014 · 14:59

Coaster quips – Lunacy before happy hour

Me – oh hec

Nic- what happened!?

Me- I confused Facebook with the blog again.

Nic- Facebook is not your therapist.

Me- but… but… but…

Nic- oh not that … Not the Sally Field

Me- they like it, they reallllly like it.

(Laughing)

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Filed under Coaster Quips: short, witty, you. cannot. be serious.

The mini-bitch pour

“I detest that I love you.”

Ever feel that way ? It’s strange to see it in writing but it’s pretty true sometimes. Getting over feelings “because you should” feels pretty impossible most days.

Love, especially…

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Filed under Well Pours: Deeper thoughts

Residual effects

Nothing like a lil message from Howard to remind me of my escapades … :-/

I will say he’s so witty I had to laugh – and never ask what the picture was of. LoL

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Filed under you. cannot. be serious.

“My mouth tastes like I made bad decisions last night”

I woke up at five am this beautiful morning. Poured myself some juice. Took a shower. Put my hair up in a French twist… and as I sat at my vanity…I notice an empty water cup.

Flashes of the night before start smacking my pride in the ass.

I wince at my phone. I see there are photos. Oh God.

I see my Snap Chat Ap was open. Omg. I deleted it and tossed my phone like I was killing a cockroach or detonating a bomb. (Yea like that helps)

Of course I eye my dinosaur of a computer on my desk. Ah my trusty-trisket of embarrassment. On that I recall getting on (gulp) Facebook.

I’m considering moving-changing my hair color-finding new friends – never drinking again…

Surely nothing can be THAT embarrassing you say?

Perhaps not.

Then again…this is a Tequilatude.

Mmm – I’m going to go to work early – get my day going – perhaps stop by a church – garggle some Holy Water …

More later. Coffee Cheers!

 

 

 

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Filed under Coaster Quips: short, witty

Once upon today…

I was talking to a person.

I told him I found him interesting.

He asked me, “What happens when you no longer find me interesting?”

All the right words flew into my head…and then, truth came out of my mouth.

“I leave.”

I was shocked by my words.

He impulsively kissed me and shocked himself.

And so it began…whatever IT was…started with honesty and impulse.

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Filed under you. cannot. be serious.

The cone of silence

Wow – I have been thinking about you – us – the way this has been going – we have had some great times … good laughs… delicious drinks.

I didn’t mean to leave you abandoned – I’ve been – busy, you know the drill, work, shopping, watching Bravo, avoiding writing… that old chestnut.

I don’t feel entertaining so I have not entertained in a while.  Nah, I’m not really in a frumpy mood, just kinda chill and quiet.

You know last night I was watching TV and wished Blogs could go into seasons – and when it’s off season you just “air” rebloggs to regroup for the next chapter of hell-raising and writing.

haha -  Blog-a-sodes… ok maybe it needs a new name -

Whatcha been up too? have you fallen in and or out of love? Have you had a new wine that rocks your tastebuds? Did a brazillian wax go awry? Did some girl forget to call you after night of sheer bliss? Tell me friends, what’s been wagging your tale so far in 2014?

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Filed under Make it a double: detailed reads, moving, honest, real