Coaster Quips – Peek – A – Poo

Happy Mother’s Day ! In the last year Jill has gotten married and become a mom – in honor of that a look back at one of our adventures. xo


Jillian & I – Brunch @ a local pub – I’m sitting at a table and have ordered a round of coffee and mimosas. Jill walks up to the table as the coffee arrives.

Jill – Who said I am not adventurous !?
Me – I don’t know, who ? ( laughing )
(Pause) oh no, what did you do ?
Jill – I drink and Snapchat.
Me – Jill you said that like a kid saying they pooed in the potty. I don’t get it.
Jill – Do you not see the implications?! I could accidentally send a double chin pict to a cute guy or a crotch shot to my cousin. Or add a nippy shot to my…
Me – For Pete’s Sake Jill
Jill – …to my story post. Whaaaat?! It’s dangerous as hell especially when in the throws of Wine-i-osis.
Me – Congrats on being a…

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What would you rather….


I just realized, that I would rather be at home on a Saturday night in my house/dress ( more modern & shorter mumu) having a cocktail and listening to Stevie Nicks and Don Henley and on WordPress…. more than a night at a hot club, in an Express short dress or with a $10 cocktail or even at home on

I just feel more alive in these precious moments of this so short life, being who I am, where I am comfortable and with the people that I love…

Maybe during the week, I sell that time for work (security, growth and power)
but in the late hours I have to my own desire – I choose, this.
xo – TequilaTudes

The thing about mornings…


Evil time of day when dreams are over… literally. pfft.  I am NOT a morning person, well, at least not the conventional morning.

I woke up at 5 today – well 5:30.  It was so dark and quiet and promising! Early morning is this magical place where I felt I had time and the world to myself and my mug. I did laundry did some creative pintresting, mainlined some coffee, and now once the sun is up… I am displeased and want to hide in my bed. ( sigh).
What was magical and divine, has now turned to “bullshit morning” once the sun came up. It is a scary place with loud shrieking alarms, traffic, real pants and work – and I don’t like it!
This is going to be a very adult level 4 pout fest. I am contemplating my life choices looking at my coffee cup that has printed on it the words, ” it’s all good” and I am thinking, “Really? Coffee, I trust you but this is bullshit.” I am now entertaining the things I would rather do then put on a bra and leave the house… and THAT list is kinda frightening so I won’t share. ( things like being a professional micro-penis photographer and cat bath giver.)
Music is playing and the happy playlist bubbling out of my Spotify is testing me now. Every song reminding me my freedom is ticking away and I am suddenly aware of every second and I feel rushed.
The thing with mornings is, I would rather sit on a broomstick.
#howwitchescametobe ? hmm …   Good Luck out there today. xo

Pressure to be positive

I’m in a horrible mood today. In a throat-punch positive meme mood, if you can identify with that.

The weather is rainy, I’m pretty sure the apple cider vinegar I drank to kick off my diet is not helping to sweeten my rainy-monday mood. So in all of my kvetching I can’t help but think of Mary Poppins. “In every job that must be done there is an element of fun…”

So while I’m denying myself spoonfuls of sugar on my clean eating cleanse & I still have to keep on keeping on either way….so why not find the fun?


Wishing you a fun & healthy Monday kids. – T.

Rock n Roll B*tches


Yesterday, the “ladies who lunch” and I were discussing Pintrest and DIY dish soap, yes yes… I know, I was one cupon clip away from appearing domesticated. What can I say, I like living on the edge

A modern application of the Good Samaritan for the Good People of the Right & the Left Wings.


Location: A park in a central part of town

A small dog was strolling along in the doggie playground.
The gate was left open that separated the part of the park for large dogs from the part of the park designated for small dogs.

Several large dogs, excited about being let out to play ran to the small dog and began to aggress upon it. The large dogs nipped as they would have to their friends, however for the small dog it was too much and he was left injured.

A church deacon was walking by and saw the dogs run off and out the corner of his eye, noticed a ball of fluff that was the small dog in the grass and passed by on the other side of the sidewalk. Busy for an important meeting at the church, he proceeded to take care of business he was in route to attend too and made a note to call the park’s and recreation office to complain on behalf of the dog.

A predominant lobbyist for rights was walking along side of the dog park, who saw the issue and passed by on the other side. He was on his way to an important meeting as well and thought how disgusting it was for the owners of the dog to leave him unattended and in a place he could be hurt.

A class of third graders were on a field trip to the park that day and the children noticed the hurt puppy and alerted adults and they went, and closed the gate between the park for the large dogs and the little dogs. They took the little dog to get the care it needed.

Reading Comprehension Questions:
Who remembers the breed of the dog that attacked the little dog? (it was never stated)
If the little dog received an apology from the big dogs would that heal the wounds? (no)
Does forgiving the large dogs change that the little dog needed medical attention? (no)
To the dog, what was most important?
a. personal pain
b. that the deacon had important business
c. that the lobbyist had important business

It doesn’t matter who forgives who, it doesn’t matter on intent and it doesn’t matter what you have said or what you believe…if someone has been hurt, acknowledgement of the pain and addressing the needs is what is important and imperative.

As America is discussing current events and politics I must caution that the big business for a greater cause does not fit in the situation where individuals were hurt.

Pain is ugly. Abuse is ugly. No one wants to talk about it, or if we do, we want to DO something about it or BLAME someone for it…but while we go fight fights that have nothing to do with the victim, there they lay, hurt…waiting for help.

Who are you going to be ?

Coaster Quips: whatchamacallit

Perils of dating #youngermen


Setting – Average afternoon lunch with various colleagues on the patio of a bistro. The conversation turns to relationships.

James, 23 year old, “Well, I’ve had like three cougars.”

Me-(snapping back into conversation after looking at my phone) “You who-a-what. what?”

James- “Relationships… I have experience with cougars, I’ve dated three of them.”

Shandra, 40+ year old, “Well, isn’t that something?! James, if you like older women then maybe I should introduce you to my friend…” (picks up phone to look for a picture of the friend)

Nic, 30+ years old, reaches for Shandra’s arm like she’s trying to stop a train wreck. “Waaaiiit a second, Shandra.” ( Nic looks at James )  “James, what is a cougar to you. How old is that?”

James- (serious voice, as if to educate the group) “A cougar is  woman over thirty that still wants to have sex.”

Shandra – (puts down her phone and speaks to James flatly) “Oh sweetie…

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Coaster Quips – E.T & INS


Sam showed me the online dating profile of an “out of towner”.

Ughh…So …I understand long distance relationships, but does interplanetary require a green card ?