So my “the one” got away. Posted online he is to be hitched. Yea, I took it well. ( AkA I didn’t say anything & or wish him happiness.I deleted him from any contact we could have, even remotely.)
It’s so funny the role people play in your life once you think they are out of the ” ego zone ”
I asked Howard tonight about this very concept. “Do you like her, for her? … Or for ego?” He couldn’t answer. Honestly, trying to define that line myself is impossible.
I know what I miss may be in complete and selfish vain. However I can state with confidence, his presence in my life was intuitive, inspirational, and paramount.
I’m in a place where relationships feel optional. Whew! I never thought I would get here. Pressure off. Yes !!
But when it comes to sharing… I notice the … Solitude. For example, the day I was offered a new job and I felt successful and kinda strange.
There was no male to go rushing to with news and expectant eyes for my deserved “atta girl”. No congratulatory dinner date at J Alexander’s. No one who saw me weak and struggling to get at this moment.
You know I love a party. Pitty party however is lame yet understandable. It boils down to standing tall and doing it alone.
I’m not alone.
I have amazing friends. My next objective is to appreciate them fully… And be thankful for everything that makes life good. Solitude & good company.