Sexstrology and a spreadsheet

Picture it. Girls night. 2 lesbians, 3 bisexuals and a Cuban. Drinks. And I am newly single.

Yes my dears, ages ago, I was in a prime candidate for soccer-momdom. ( I know – SHOCKING- take a sip – I will too. )

After l had put away my relationship reminders, casserole dishes and cardigans… I was looking for a new and practical start into dating.

This topic came up amongst the crew and jokingly someone said – “You can always try ‘Hey baby, what’s your sign?'”

Inspiration mixed with my tequila and I thought- yes ! This is it !

What IF you can know about someone’s personality based off of their zodiac sign characteristics ?!

Omg the time saving! The instant knowledge of douchebags and sensitive sorts !

(Sing with me ) I’ve got the golden tiiiicccckkkeeeeet !

My friends thought I had taken the joke too far and the conversation moved on to other things. That concept was something I googled that night.

After researching as any corporate gal would, I calculated that I would date by sign and conduct my experiment.

First up ~ the Taurus man. Ah yes ! Stable, sensual and grounded. Perfect. Practical. Sensible.

I searched and researched and decided I was going strictly Taurus – let the dating begin.

One lunch with my Aries friend, I told her about my experiment.

Me – I’ve got a date with an accountant tonight. And date 2 with the architect this weekend.

Aries – Ooh. Let me see.

Me – Ha! Look at this ! I’m collecting a heard of ’em.

Aries – (flipping through my Taurus picks on my phone) Gawd! How many are there?

Me – Seven! I know that sounds excessive but I want a good selection and per my research they are very true to their tastes and turn-ons. This is fantastic. I have one complete Taurus date wardrobe!

Aries – (snort laugh) You have a farm!

Me – har har

Aries – (hits my arm still laughing ) A petting zoo !

Me – blahahahahahah. Ok. That was funny! Omg what am I doing! Haha! This is rich!

Aries – Oh you aren’t going to write about this are you ?

Me – (guilty face) Welllll, it IS a social experiment…

Aries – (in protest ) No way !! It says right here ( Googling on her phone ) they are possessive. Oh my – watch your ass, Missy – or your cows might stampede!

Me – Yeaaaaah. I thought about that too late. It will be a funny story though.

Aries – You are shopping for a boyfriend not a joke ! And omg. Don’t write about it now – you don’t need to start out your new start as a romantic comedy !

Me – Haha – title ?

Aries – The Cowgirl Cometh

Me – Haha! Giddy up !

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