A game of real or fake ( or miraculous ) – a boob story part I

Gather around kiddos, it’s time for a Tit Tale from Tequiltudes.

It all occurred on a Fall Friday at 6pm. At this time and day, the ladies restroom at work is full of females ( including myself), and all of us are putting ourselves “back together” after work. On this particular Friday, I propped up next to the mirror with a lot of other gals to touch up my make up and march outward to happy hour.

My friends (Melanie, Nic and Reed) were waiting for me at our usual Pub. ( we go here specifically for dinner and pre-drinks as a means to relax, before we go – “out”.

I call this the “work it out time.”  Truth be known, we are all to old to finish a day at the office and be all “happy snappy” and this dimly lit little Pub (haven) allows us to arrive and greet our friends with a natural scowl from a stressful day, plunk down our purse, criticize the stick table top, look around agitatedly for the waiter and then see that the first friend to arrive had already ordered your drink for you! Grateful eye-contact “fist bumps” are exchanged. Once we have all the ingredients for the “work out” … decompression begins, in order…clockwise.

Melanie says thank you to the waitress and sips out of her margarita till her eyes roll back in her head. This only happens for a second and we all see it and pretend it never happened. She sighs and pulls out a cigarette from her purse and lights it.

Melanie-“Oh wow. This has been a crazy week! ( her phone goes off) Well, here is another reason why it’s crazy. I went up to the cabin with Tyler to go hiking. Well Tyler’s ex-girlfriend was just not having it. It turns out she was dating python-guy, you know the one, with the weird pets. Everyone knows each other!

Me – “Gross.”

Reed – “You aren’t dating Tyler. You guys are friends. Why does ex-chick care?”

Melanie – “Riiiight!? Well, I just don’t know. ( she finishes her cig and puts it out) I’m this app that you can date people on, and I am getting hit after hit! Girls, you should check this out!! Other than that, work is work. Ok that’s it. ( she orders another margarita and an appetizer)

Reed – (to a random waiter walking by, not our waitress) “I want a FuckyouTuesday Shot.”

Me – (to the waiter) “She means a Lemon Drop.” ( I turn to Melanie) “You missed it. We created a holiday called Fuck you Tuesday. Sam, Reed and I were here…and we all had awful days. Not sure how we got started on Lemon Drops, but they are the offical drink of F.U.T. !”

Melanie – (laughs) “FUT? Girl, that needs a new name! I can’t say it with out laughing.”

Reed – “It’s FUT, bitch.” ( takes her FUT shot) “Guess it’s my turn, things are fine here. I did all my ‘working it out’ Tuesday. Nathan is coming around again. Gawd these guys always repeat. OOH and I saw Hot Mike the other niiiiight.”

Me – “Would this be on ‘Fuck me Thursday’?”

Reed – ( giggle) “Yes,yes. It was fun. We’ll see how that goes. Ok. I’m done.”

Melanie – “Where is Nic? Has anyone heard from her?”

Me – “She’s probably going to skip dinner and meet us out at The Trap.”

Melanie – “Ok. (turns to me) Well, spill girl. You got us waiting.”

Me – “I want a promotion. I’ve taken on like eighty projects. I think I stopped drinking coffee around 2 pm today. I’m starving. I worked through lunch. I’m still hearing from the Taurus. Eh. Pretty tame week.”

After the conclusion of work it out and dinner, we proceeded down the street to a bar called The Trap.

The Trap is a fun, tropical bar that is popping on Friday. They are known for frozen drinks on demand, good music and a bright atmosphere. As we entered the bright, loud Trap, we saw Nic as we expected. She was there with her crowd… and working it out. WAY OUT.


* ( stay tuned for Part-Two of a Tequilatudes Titty Tale)


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