The city girl and (social) corn hole.

Have you ever had great drunk sex?

Tawdry, sloppy and giggly drunk passionate sex? Hehe. Yea.

Nic had a night out with Jay – a corn-fed import from one of “those” states.

Nic and Jay had been friends for years. Jay was someone who oddly reminded her of her California people and they always had something banal, entertaining and slightly insightful to discuss.

In the spice of life, Nic knew Jay was a poblano pepper – looked good, waxy, appeared spicy but oh so mild and usually served filled with lots of sh*t.

The beauty of their affinity was that over the years; the connection never faded nor did it ever turn from platonic… At least in her eyes.

Years ago, Jay made a pass at Nic which she batted off much like you would shoo a large Golden Retriever off the couch.

Nic turned to date her fateful ex and it wasn’t until after the break up that she eventually hung out with Jay again.

There was tequila – bad Kareoke in a hole in the wall bar – and 4am deep, hiccupy, stumbly, giggly conversations at his house.

He pounced on her and she um… Had quite the ride of her 2013 life from what I gathered as she drove up Reed’s driveway on Sunday morning for brunch.

Reed and I were sipping coffee on the porch and heard Daft Punk’s song “Get Lucky” popping from the silver Lexus pulling up the drive. Reed and I exchanged arched eyebrow looks and watched as Nic popped out of the car in night wear and toting a bag of French frys.

Nic – heyyyy girlllls.

Reed and I – heeeeeyy yourself.

I handed Nic a cup of coffee that I had prepared for her, to rush the story along.

Nic – (takes cup and thanks me)

Reed- (to Nic) well friend?

Nic- (giggling) um. So I hung out with Jay last night and we started at the Trap and ended up at this bar that was a glorified trailer in BFE. It was hilarious, he sang karaoke, we met fun people …

Me – yea yea and?

Nic – (mouth full of frys) well we…

Reed- damn it. Was it good?

Nic- omg. It was awesome. I had FIVE. Around number four we high fived. I passed out before six. Haha. I’m starving.

Me – well YEA. Soooooo? Anything …There?

Nic- no! We are just as cool as we were before. It’s pretty unbelievable. But this shit gets better. So remember his BFF that he is NOT dating ?

Reed- omg. Jen?! Yea….

Nic- I saw her today too.

Me -oh Ohhhhh oh God

Nic – we are sleeping and awake to the bedroom door swinging open and Jen flipping on the lights saying ‘good morning sunshine.’ She whips the covers off of him – thank goodness I was still wearing my cami but everything ELSE was strewn about the condo!

Reed- holy crap! Blahahahahahah. What did you do ?!

Nic – what could I do?!? I just pretended to sleep through it. I couldn’t get out to find my skirt! I felt like we had been caught by his mom!

Me- what a tooooooolllllll

Reed- did she kick yo ass?

Nic- ikr?! No ass kicking. But I kept trying to get out of bed when she would leave and kept coming back into the room! So I was up, down, up, down. It was like a retarded comedy.

Me – blahahahahahah.

Reed- omg.

Nic – he finally came back in there and passed me my things. She had driven off. He took me back to my car and now I’m here.

Me – well… good morning sunshine.

Reed – I woulda been like ‘what the fuuuuuuccccckkkkkkk is thiiiiiisss?’ And then I woulda kicked yo ass. Best friend? Ha! That was always some thorn birds bull shit.

Nic- ( mouths to me) thorn birds ?

Me – (shrug and mouths back) Netflicks. Old movie marathon.

Reed- it’s a bunch of ASS.

Me- (to Reed) no more ass, sweetie. Nic had enough for all of us.

Nic – He said she is his BFF! Gawd a year ago I thought he was gay!

Me- annnnd by the pantless light of whoredom you realized the gay guy got you off five times??? How many of his roommates did you date over the years ? Haha. This pretty much decides who the Blanch is when we go to the nursing home.

Reed – whaa?

Me- (to Reed) queen of the lovers has died and (to Nic) long screw the queen of lovers.

Nic- assholes.

Reed – soOo… Queenie… did you rock his “corn bread” world ?

Nic – maybe. um. I forgot that part.

Me- You human dildoed that poor boy and left him with um. Blue balls.

Reed – blue corn. Ha.

Nic – aww it wasn’t that bad was it?

Me – noooo girl (laughing hysterically) you are finnnne.

Reed – (smacks my arm) yea you know how he likes to match his pretty boy outfits.

Me-(laughing snort laughing)

Nic- what is so funny?! What’s matching ?

Reed- the blue balls and black eye that “BFF” Jen probably gave him.

Me – (raise coffee mug in a toast) to the queen.



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