A quote from Love Actually. A feeling of appreciation

“Get a grip, people hate sissies. No-one’s ever gonna shag you if you cry all the time.”

Film quote of conversation between characters Karen and Harry
Film quote of conversation between characters Karen and Harry

Love Actually was a wonderful film with great lines. I didn’t remember the quote exactly, but I remembered the concept.

– If you keep crying, you will never get laid. –

 I told myself this as I was sobbing in my bathroom. I had worked very hard on a project and it was not appreciated. It was not noticed. My work felt futile. I felt useless and defeated.

I stood in front of the mirror with a snotty cry pouring out of my face and told myself to buck up. “Damn it, self, you need to get over this now because your are being weak and gross. Get over it.”

Beating myself up when I felt low did not make me feel better. It just ended up being like a thrasher-pity party. Fact is, The lack of appreciation makes me sad.

I felt like I was working in a cycle.

  • I am provided a challenge.
  • I put forth effort and create a result that I am proud of. The result is grand,
  • but when no one cares…
  • I think the Effort and the Result is worthless.

I have been reading a lot about accountability. I like this topic because no matter the curve ball, I have the power to choose how I feel about it. I had to face that I was placing blame for my sadness on not being appreciated.

I had to call myself on this bullshit. I thought I did a good job. So why now do I feel my work was undervalued? Ah – in looking deeper I was sad because somewhere, I had undervalued myself.

Look – this moment was not pretty for me. I was pissed. Trust me. I think it’s not fair to blame myself for ONE MORE THING… geesh…and the unappreciative people get off the hook. But the truth is – I put MY value in the hands of others, and I knew it, and I hated it.

Now, I’m glad I had that crying moment. Had I been acclaimed to the hilt of my expectation, maybe I would not have seen that I was determining my value on public opinion and not on my work.

What now? Well, usually I would lecture myself to never do that again. Sometimes, it seems that harping at ourselves will make us better, but it’s illogical. (Seriously, when was the last time your ass was in Boot Camp Class … and you liked it?) No one wants to be barked at. Likewise, we have to stop “bitching” at ourselves.

Let’s talk for a second about appreciation.

  • Whatever it is that has got you wondering what all your hard work is for.
  • Whatever or Whomever is inspiring questions about your contribution and value.
  • Wherever you are reading this, physically or in a certain stage in your life… understand that you see what you believe.

Over time, I hope to exchange the lecture, for a one-time conversation with a mature adult ( AKA: me.) In the conversation, note that next time I will do things differently, maybe appreciate myself more and drop it.

An opportunity for a new victory is just around the corner! To see it, I need to stop micromanaging my success with rehashing failure.

I know this is nutty for a deep thinker to say, but sometimes we need to stop dwelling so much inward and look to the day ahead. That’s all a savvy person needs anyway…. ( and of course another glass of wine)

Oh, not that you need to hear it from me… but for what it’s worth, good job on all you do.


5 thoughts on “A quote from Love Actually. A feeling of appreciation

  1. This is well written and good. Inspiring. I think everyone needs that internal boost now and again, or even, as you said, focus outward for a little and not dwell so much on what we aren’t or what we can’t do. Thank you for including my post in the “related articles”. If that’s something you choose yourself? I’m fairly new to this site so I’m not sure if things are sometimes lumped together by tags or if that was a conscious effort on your part, if it was indeed the latter, thank you again. 🙂

    ps: Love, Actually is one of my favorite movies. I love the tie-in with the quote.

    1. Hi there! I was not familiar with the “ping-backs” as I think they are called until recently. I think it helps readers who are searching to read about related topics or other views of similar themes. I began to enjoy them in my blog reading so I added as a part of my blog customization. As an added bonus I feel that when an article of mine is listed it may bring new readers to my site -and vice versa – it may bring new readers to those blogs I list. I hope you don’t mind me including you in my Tequilatude 🙂 and thank you kindly for your nice words – I find your writing to be quite fantastic and take it as a big compliment. 🙂

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