Could it be ? A blog that is not about sex? On TEQUILATUDES? Yes, friends it’s a new dawn and a new day and… I just might be in the numb stage. (haha).
I realized that I wasn’t “white” way into my 20s. I thought that the racial identification was about skin color. (Technically, I’m various shades of tan depending on my sunning regime.) I am the average American gal. Once I entered the college social scene, I was smacked in the tan by interactions with the Hispanic Social Group.
I will never forget walking by a group of females from this group. I realized that they were talking about me in Spanish. They didn’t say anything bad and so I responded in Spanish.
A gaggle of lip-linered lips, accompanied with jaws, hit the floor. One ( picked up her jaw) and spoke up. She said that I looked… “white” and my green eyes… and they didn’t know.
What do you say to that? I responded with a nervous laugh and a confused look and explained my family is Cuban.
Later on, I became friends with more Hispanic people in the social group and I was excited to be invited to join them for lunch. After arriving to the dining room with my tray and following my new friends to a table, I realized that there was no question to where they were going sit. In that moment, my social innocence veil lifted and there in the large, dining room on campus I now saw this was more than a dining room, it was a grid of different clicks.
Now a days, the cafeteria-clicks, are discussed in movies like Mean Girls or shows like Orange is the New Black. These shows are not kidding, this is exactly what it was like…even in “my day.”
I enjoyed my time sitting with my new friends, but after awhile I realized that it wasn’t very open for me to invite my “other” friends to dine with us. So one day, I mentioned I wasn’t going to be there for dinner, I was going to be eating with some friends from a writing class I was taking. The faces looked as shocked as when they realized I was one of them, only now it did not end in inclusion…it almost appeared as though once you enter the fold, and leave for whatever reason that entry back was not really existent.
I could never be tied to one group for whatever reason…I guess the thing with being bi (cultural) is that I am two things…and the thing about being two things, is that I would never be balanced, just being one.