‘I hate you’ & other hard things to say…


Yesterday I had two long talks with two female friends. Each expressed difficulty with identifying and expressing deep emotions.

I commiserated.

When you do not have natural inclination to know how to explain difficult feelings, meaningful relationships can be harder than they have to be.

Gender-urban legends tell us women are better at the feeling stuff than men are. This adds some pressure to the women who have not mastered it.


My friends both described being frustrated that it seems so easy for some people … And wonder why it’s so hard for them.

As I listened, I discovered some things that prohibit effective communication of emotional topics.

Both of these individuals had : Judiciousness, Perception, Protectiveness, Gratitude, Strength.

These are fantastic traits and all strengths can be manifested in ways that can weaken us.

Judiciousness – manifested into – do I have the right to feel this way

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