SOB : Secret OLD Behavior

Yea – I’ll admit it, it’s 5 AM on a Monday. I have already juiced organic carrots, made coffee and I’m grooving to Sublime and now Green Day is playing. I was seat dancing like a Gilmore Girl with bobby pins holding my bangs up and I remember I need to find my zit gel because I can feel one popping up.

By the following facts : being awake at 5 AM Monday & making carrot juice you should figure that I’m old.  By the “Best of the 90’s” Spotify playlist I am listening too, you should KNOW I’m in my 30’s.

Honestly, they never told me that the music you thought you looked so cute wiggling too at 14-21..is something you catch yourself dancing to 25-90+. There is a happy process that happens when listening to loved music: a moment of recognition, the head bop, a little mutter of a few lyrics and then the chorus swells…I take my mind off the song for a mili-second … and without conscious thought my inner-soul turns rock singer.

As a kid in the 80s, I had a love for the 1950s inspired by movies such as Back To the Future & Grease. I remember seeking music from this era and finding it in sweet nostalgic places – a stack of records in my grandparent’s house, a piano song book  of the music to Grease, and an oldies radio station that I would keep on all the time. Rainy Summer afternoons at Grandma’s were spent with my cousin, calling in song requests.

By age 14 , I was too old for much of anything… but I clearly remember flopping on my bed in tears after my first “love swoon”. I turned on that radio station. “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” played, for the first time I understood that a song captured this messy swing of highs and lows of puppy love. I appreciated that the song did not “cheer me up” – it just understood. And THAT virtue unto itself made me feel better.

It wasn’t too long into my devotion to oldies radio that I realized there were no longer new songs to hear, I knew them all: the do-wop, the Motown, the dancing singles, the one hit wonders, the killer girl groups from the 50s-60’s and lord help me if I didn’t even try some Disco.

For some reason, understanding that there were not new oldies…was a lesson that stuck with me. I felt like a new discovery… was now just an old friend, the music of an era… So, in 1995,1996 I started to listen to the music of my day…and rainy Summer afternoons were spent watching VH1 and MTV.

Now, in the early morning hours of my private time, this is the music I secretly play as I go do my responsibilities. I sing along and do adult tasks and for a second I am back to a time and place where I feel still a little “bad ass”…

Not too shabby for a Monday morning.

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